Intro scene from a flick I'd write

All of my movie buff friends know I'm a huge Kevin Smith fan. Chasing Amy is the best love story ever made. Anyway, here goes...

EXT. HOUSE BALCONY - DAY

Jim and Bob, two twentysomethings, are having smokes on the balcony of a suburban house. MTV is blaring in the background. Jim reaches for an ashtray, while Bob takes a drag off his fag.

JIM
I saw Mike the other day. You'd never guess what he told me.

BOB
What? That fucker's always got a lot to say. We used to call him "the artist". Remember? So clever at making things up. Out of thin air.

JIM
Yeah, I know. But this one's for real. He told me someone we both know is an A cup.

Bob stubs out his ciggie while simultaneously reaching for another one.

BOB
So? "A cups" are people too, you know.

JIM
I just expected more. I'd always thought she was a C. Ok, at least a B, la...

BOB
That's why. Technology nowadays...sigh. But you can tell. You just have to pay attention. I was playing 'truth or dare' with a couple of friends last night. This chick I just met, it was her turn and she picked 'truth'. So I asked her cup size.

JIM
And?

BOB
She said B. I was thinkin', man...no fucking way she was a B. But she stuck to her story. What the fuck could I say, right? This is 'truth or dare'. She's supposed to tell the truth. But she cheated. Bitch.

JIM
How did you know for sure she wasn't telling the truth?

BOB
Dude, you're a face guy. Me? I'm a tits guy.

JIM
Very true.

BOB
I know these things. But anyway, awhile later, I asked her best friend. Just purely for confirmation. She was an A, man.

JIM
(laughing and coughing up a billow of smoke)
Well, what the hell did you expect her to say?

BOB
Bitch was lying through her teeth. And she knew that I knew. Girls do it all the time.

JIM
Ok, so let's say it was her turn to ask you. And she asked you how long your dick was, what would you say?

Pauses and thinks about his final anwer for all of 5 seconds while lighting yet another cigarette.

BOB
7 inches.

Cue loud cock rock, a la The Darkness.